Four weeks ago on Wednesday, at age 50 and 70 days (forgive me for the 70 days but I’m just getting used to this age 50 thing) I’d love to say so far so good but really a month ago today I had a full left hip replacement, not a partial but the whole shebang. Titanium rod implant, marble and titanium ball and plastic cartilage replacement. Not to mention whatever they did to the socket to hold all that shit in place. Whoa! sounds a lot just writing it.
Now I know you're all thinking “Wow! 50 is awfully young to have a hip replacement” and you'd be right it is. Most, but not all, hip replacements are done around the late 60s and 70s since they don't last forever and believe me when I tell you you don't want to do that more than once (unfortunately I might have to) they last anywhere between 10 and 20 years depending on how well you treat your new hip. And I intend to treat mine as well as any active fun loving 50 year old would treat their own hip. So I’m thinking 10 to 15 years and I’ll need a new one. Although last night I did realize I will never be able to get on a mechanical bull! How sad is that? I knew I should have got that off my bucket list before surgery but when I told my BFF she just laughed and said oh don’t worry we can just ask him to go slow. Love her but where’s the fun in going slow? I’m sure there’s a whole host of things I’ll not be able to do. My surgeon told me I can’t run any more but when he told me that I just laughed and laughed. Me? Run? That’s never happened before and never will, but now I have a good excuse.
Anyway happy to report the surgery, as most of you know, went brilliantly and I was up and walking within 6 hours with no pain whatsoever but I know that was because of the massive amount of drugs that I had. But hey no complaints here! I was back home two days later to let the recovery commence.
Recovery will take a long time and if you know me, the one thing I’m not is patient, I want every thing done yesterday. So to say I’m having a tough time with this is an understatement. The first two weeks were fine. I could see and feel improvements every day because there were big changes. In 10 days I went from using a walker to only using a cane. Day 14 I got my staples removed which allowed me to sleep better, now I can sleep on my side again instead of only on my back. It does not sound like much but when the heels of your feet hurt because you can’t move in bed this is an awesome improvement. The last two week have been much more challenging since the improvements are slower and rehab is just walk, walk, walk. I have gone back to the gym but only to do upper body and get on the bike with no resistance. I did manage that for 15 minutes on monday of this week (week 4). On Tuesday I made in into the pool with a lot of help from Smug Git. Who’d have thought getting into the pool would be hard but it was and it hurt a lot as did just walking back and forth. I had assumed that would be easy but no, it was tough. So, me being me, that’s what I’m going to do from now on. When I go to the gym I’m going to workout with my lovely trainer Sherif and then go to the pool.
Ok. On the funny side, since that last bit was a tad serious there’s a chair lift into the pool at the gym that I’m going to use. So watch this space and I’ll let you know how that goes because we all know how judged we are at the gym so it may be interesting to see how a fat disabled person is judged and talking about disabled how awesome it it to get special up close parking permit! Oh this little chestnut never gets old!
And it’s lets have a moan time…. Part of my recovery is knowing I can’t go on holiday this summer nor can I drive the car till I’m off all pain killers and I’m in no hurry to stop taking them you know the saying every cloud :) well since I’m stuck at home looking at the same four walls and of course Facebook (Bloody hate FB honestly). What is it with people who go on holiday or vacation however you say it and post hour by hour pictures, sometimes minute by fucking minute! Starting with check in at the airport lounge with <insert whatever your beverage of choice>. Then “Ooh! Look at our hotel room!”, “View of beach/pool/bar”, then we have to have the food pictures - Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. Oh so help me god! And I’m not even religious put your phone and Facebook down and enjoy your bloody holiday. Unless of course part of your holiday is pissing me and everyone else who can’t afford or for what ever reason can’t go on holiday then carry on. Ok… rant over.
Back to me.
As you can see I’m having a hard time this week. Can't really talk to Smug without crying. I think having a hip replacement in your 60s or 70s may be easier maybe by then you've learned how to be patient and take it a step at a time. For me - not so easy but I’ll try.
If you have any tips or comments for me that you think might help feel free to give them to me but I’m very delicate at the moment so be kind.
Thanks for listen to me moan. The next time I’ll be more positive… I hope!….Iz x