Sunday, October 30, 2011

Cuts and Bruises Here I Come

Right, where did I leave off last week oh that’s right shiny new bike and helmet, training here I come! Well the bike sat in the garage till Greek Adonis noticed the helmet.

Greek Adonis “Hey Mom, did you get a bike?”

Me”I sure did”

Greek Adonis “wow that’s a cool bike, cut and bruises here I come, I know what to get you for Christmas - Neosporin and Band-Aids.”

Me “Cheeky wee shite”

And so the bike sat quietly in the garage. I’m still not quite sure how to go about this training stuff. I don’t really have a plan so I go into school on Friday and we have PE. I have to get my kit on like the kids, I’m not quite sure why because we just stand about looking… Well, let’s just say looking the part.

But today I think this could be my chance to start training - you know work out with 6 year olds - I’d say that was about my level of fitness, you’d think right? Well not so much. I tell one of the little girls that I’ll be on her relay team because they are one person short and she huffs and rolls her eyes and says “oh no!” Seriously I think, am I that bad? Well apparently yes. Ok I’ll have to rethink this I think a visit to the doctor to make sure that I should take on this challenge!

But first a wee after school glass of wine with the girlies. I see a pattern here. A few glasses of wine later.

Lesley “oooh can I come see your new bike?”

Me “yes sure”

She goes out to the garage and she’s all oh that’s so cool and can I try it on! And then proceeds to get on the shiny new stationary bike and immediately falls off! She’s worse at this than me but to be fair I haven’t actually got on the shiny new bike except with the help of two men and a bike stand.

Shiny new bike 1 shite bike riders 0

Saturday afternoon and so the training begins…..

I muster up the energy and the guts to go out on the bike but I’ve already told Smug Git that I’m only going round the school parking lot (five laps is one mile) and that I need to practice starting and stopping because while I can actually pedal it’s just the starting and stopping I have the problems with. Three miles later and lots of practice and I think I’ve got it down. I don’t want to push my luck so I come home and if you remember right at the start of this ridiculous adventure he promised me a beer after each training ride so I sit on the sofa and have a beer. Happy to report, although it was a Saturday night, I only had one other beer but did have to go to bed at 10:30pm. Wow! 3 miles takes it out of you, maybe it was all the stopping and starting.

I waken up on Sunday morning and I’m raring to go Smug Git is shocked but I get my kit on and it’s back on the bike, round the parking lot for a mile and then wait for it….out on the roads! I know can you believe it? Look what happens when you don’t drink beer and have an early night, I feel like I can do anything. Five miles later we head back to the parking lot because I need to practice trying to take my white knuckled hands of the handle bars since I can’t feel my fingers. I get to the parking lot one happy bike rider. I’m minding my own business trying to get some feeling back in my hands when from the corner of my eye I see a little girl on her bike…Shiny bike with a basket and streamers and she’s headed my way to the parking lot! Are you kidding me? She starts chasing me round the parking lot, obviously beating me, zig zaging in and out of me all giggling and laughing and I swear to god I’ll take her out! Does she not know I’m exhausted, I’ve been riding for miles! What is it with these six year old girls I think their just jealous and got it in for me. Mean girls!

Back home Smug Git is in the kitchen.

Smug Git “So you happy?”

Me “yes! Oh my god I can hear you smiling. Stop smiling and get me a beer!”

Serious bit…..

Firstly here is my link

What is the BP MS 150?

The BP MS 150 is a two-day fundraising cycling ride organized by the National MS Society: Lone Star. This ride is the largest event of its kind in North America. In 2011, the event raised more than $16 million for MS.The ride is a 180-mile journey for MS from Houston to Austin. Breakpoints are positioned every 8-15 miles. The ride begins Saturday morning at three convenient starting points: Tully Stadium in Houston, Rhodes Stadium in Katy and Waller Stadium in Waller. Riders follow scenic roads into Bellville for lunch. Day One ends at the Fayette County Fairgrounds overnight in La Grange.

On Sunday morning Club 300 members lead the mass on one of two routes that lead to Bastrop Intermediate School for lunch from the fairgrounds. Take the Bechtel Challenge Route and enjoy the rolling terrain of Bastrop and Buescher State Parks or bypass the parks via the Pfizer Lunch Express Route. The final leg of Day Two takes riders into Austin for exciting Finish Line festivities at the capital.

Thanks for reading see y’all next week!

Next week my doctors visit and trip to the finish line.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

A funny thing happened on the way to the bike shop

OK so last Sunday I had a few beers watching the Texans lose 14 – 29 to the Baltimore Ravens (oh come on Texans get your act together) I decided enough with the beer and chips I need to start training, that bike will not ride itself but that’s quite funny since I don’t even have a bike but at least I’m thinking about training… right?

To be honest I couldn’t really think about it for long because we had tickets to go see Idina Menzel sing with the Houston Symphonic at Jones Hall. Wow! What a fantastic show she is an amazing entertainer. Finally get home and get to bed around midnight then I can’t sleep because all I can think about it the MS 150, I fall asleep thinking about my week ahead, the training and diet plan.

Monday morning I pack my super healthy lunch - fruits, veggies, carbs and protein sounds good yeah? It was really just a sandwich, tomato and cucumber some raspberries and a yoghurt. But I have my gym gear because I’m going to do a spin class after work. Well….no, I was so tired because of my late night so I went home made dinner and lay on the sofa for the evening.

Tuesday, Tuesday will be better.


I remembered I have a night out with the girls from work because it’s half term. I feel like the world is against me! I have such a hard life, when am I going to fit in this training? I eat too much and it’s very hard not to drink when it’s happy hour. Fun night with the girlies though! I’d love to say the training was going rapidly downhill but that’d mean it have actually got up the hill this training was a nonstarter.

I have a plan for Wednesday

No, really I do.

The bike shop. I’m meeting Smug Git there after work, he is so excited, me, not so much! I’m driving home with one of my BFF’s Lesley and since I’m not meeting Smug Git for a while I go to her house.

Lesley “do you want a glass of wine”

Me “I don’t think so, I’m going to the bike shop”

Lesley “I’ll put soda in it”

Me “oh, ok then”

Lesley “do you need to be sober when you try on a bike?”

OMG! I laughed so much I nearly dropped my wine!

So I finally get to Bike Barn, Smug Git’s favorite store and as I’m walking in I feel like I’m going to the dentist. I’ve sweaty palms and a huge knot in my tummy. Anyways, the sales guy comes over tells me it’s his day off but he’ll help me anyway. Who the hell goes to work on their day off! I’ll say all the nice things about him first. Very knowledgeable young man definitely knows his stuff about bikes, very efficient, but must have left his sense of humor chained up with his bike.

I could not get this kid to crack even a smirk, nothing, he’s making this way harder than it need to be. I’m trying everything - fat jokes, old jokes, can’t ride jokes. Then - I kid you not - he gives me a lecture on being committed! Seriously he’s 16!!

Anyway he puts the bike on the stand

Me “will that hold me”

Him “oh yes Ma’am absolutely that bike is built to hold…” Ok stop right there. Ma’am. When did I get Ma’am old.

I just laugh “I meant the stand!”

Eventually we’re at the cash desk buying the fancy road bike and a helmet and I casually ask about the lycra shorts and do I have to wear them?

He says, so seriously “ they help with drag.”

I think, has he actually looked at me the whole time? And I say “Really? They’ll help with drag. For me! Unless the shorts are dragging me along I think not.” The store manages almost choked laughing. Wow, someone in the store with a sense of humor at last my job is done.

I know my training has not gone as planned but I’m now the proud owner of a shiny new bike and helmet. Bike riding here I come!

Serious bit now…

I am riding for my friend Beth Read. Beth has written a piece for me that I will share in the coming weeks but I just wanted to say a wee bit about Beth beforehand. I am very fortunate to be able to call Beth my friend, she is kind, caring and has a great sense of humor, a must if you’re a friend of mine. Beth’s MS does not hold her back from doing anything she wants. It’s because of generous people like you that Beth can continue to fight this disease. Please if you can follow this link and give a few dollars to MS it will be very much appreciated.

Thanks for reading see y’all next week!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Look what happens when you drink...

Ok so I’m talking to Iain about him doing the MS150 this year and he says “why don’t you do it” and I laugh, seriously, are you kidding? I love my food and I’ve been known, as my friends will tell you, to partake in a small adult beverage on an occasion as I was at that very moment! A few adult beverages later I think I could do that I could cycle 170ish miles from Houston to Austin over two days and as I’m saying the words out loud my 18 year old Greek Adonis shouts down from his bedroom. “Nope no way you can do that you can’t even make it to the gym once a week” (he has got a point) “AND every time you get on your bike you fall off” (ok another good point)

So far Greek Adonis 2 fat drunken mother 0.

I won’t bore Y’all with the back and forth that followed but suffice to say being the pigheaded - I can do anything I put my mind to - idiot I’m now signed up to do it!

I’ve been told by Iain (why don’t you do it) smug git that I have to write a bit about me. I’m not sure why because anyone reading this already knows me but just in case someone out there in blog land who doesn’t know me might want to read it. So here goes new blog friend enjoy!

Obviously I’m a tad crazy 47 year old fat mother of two with a slight drinking problem, when I tell you I’m originally from Scotland it all becomes clear. Iain who will now be known as Smug Git bought me my first bike when I was 30 years old (I kid you not.) I did not have a bike growing up hence the reason I keep falling off, so when I say I’m worried about doing this I’m not joking but I will give it my best shot! And you can look forward to my weekly training escapades. My next blog will be ‘The Bike Shop’ oh how I look forward to that trip. Can you wear a burka on a bike?

Serious bit now…

Multiple sclerosis is a progressive neurological disease that affects people in many different ways. It could be paralysis one day, loss of vision the next or impaired memory the day after that. Living with MS means living with uncertainty.

When it comes to MS, only two things are certain:

• Another American is newly diagnosed with MS every hour of every day.
• Many people are joining the movement toward a world free of MS – including me.

I've registered for BP MS 150 to fulfill a personal challenge, and to help the National MS Society fund research, advocate for change, and help people with MS and their families lead powerful lives. I believe in the work they do and want to be an active part of it. I know I can count on your help.

The Society organizes 100 rides nationwide. The funds they raise fuel research aimed at treating and eventually curing MS; they also provide crucial services for persons living with MS.
I’m helping the National MS Society move forward toward a world without MS and making a difference in the lives of 400,000 Americans with multiple sclerosis.

To donate to follow this link

I really wanted to end on a serious note but I just looked over and Smug Git is already on the bike barn web site!