50/50

Well hello old friends! I know it’s been a while but I have a new challenge in mind and I know I’m going to need all the support and cheerleading I can get and there’s no better way to get it than by blogging to y’all every couple of weeks. BUT don’t worry your money is safe under your mattresses and in your banks. This time I’m not looking for your hard earned cash. (Ha! I just heard a huge sigh of relief from all my friends)

First things first as you all probably know by now I did not ride in this year’s MS150 L due to my bloody hip problem, yes it still hurts but the doc has been trying some new meds and as of right now it feels like it’s helping a bit. Not a lot, I still have pain but less than before thankfully and because of this, now for the first time in a long time I think I can attempt some exercise.

So with that being said let me tell you what I’m planning - are you all ready for this? Drum roll please……… 

I am going to try, well not try, I am going to lose 50 pounds before my 50^th birthday.  I know crazy right?  Thankfully my birthday is next April so that gives me 50 weeks give or take a week or two so I think it’s very doable and it’s not like I’ll be a twig insect if I lose 50 so very doable, also I have two friends who want to help me with this and as soon as they are on board 100% I’ll introduce them to y’all. They are hilarious because they don’t want you to know how much they weigh just how much the loss or gain each week. This will make for a funny read since I think it should be a no holds barred competition which of course I will win not that I’m in the least bit competitive right Sandra?

Last month was my 49^th birthday, the last year in my forties and I had to share my birthday with a little boy at school. Let me start by saying a very cute and lovely little boy, however I still had to share it with him. What is it with 3 year old children? It has to be all about them, so selfish! But happily I reminded the children that it was not all about him it was my special day too! Well that didn’t work too well for me since he brought in the best snack ever. Ok I’m losing this one big time, bloody children.  Anyway I was going to start this new escapade on the Wednesday, the day after my birthday but due to the massive hangover I had maybe Thursday would work better. But no I went to my friend Amanda’s for dinner, I had convinced myself I would not have a drink and when I got there she asked me if I’d like a drink, “No thanks I’m good right now” (are you all impressed?) well that lasted about an hour and it was G&T’s all-round never mind I’ll start tomorrow….No wait that’s Friday, then the weekend. Ok Monday it is then and I’m really serious, Monday is D day.

Every time I blog I will set myself goals for the following week or two and then I will report back to you and let you know where I have managed to achieve those goals or hopefully do better and I will even let you know if I fail by thinking up the best excuses why I did not achieve them, no I promise I’ll be honest, scouts honor.  I will hopefully let you know how much weight I’ve lost but I will also let you know if I’ve gained.  I’m going to take pictures so that you can see my progress as I go and I’m planning on taking my first picture today I’ll also add the other girls pictures if they want to do that.  

Goals for the week…..

I don’t know if anyone knows this, well besides Smug Git, but I am an addict. I’m addicted to eggs I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE eggs! I have an egg every day and I know eating one every day is not good for you but neither is gin and tonic and that doesn’t stop me either however in the spirit of reaching my goal this week I’m going to have a protein smoothie for breakfast and no gin and tonics till Friday (and just to let you know no I don’t have a G&T for breakfast ok) my other favorite food group is bread. I have to have bread at every meal so having the smoothie will cut out one of my bread servings for the day. I think that will be a good start for the food week now exercise is another story. Since my hip has been giving me so much pain lately I can honestly say I’ve done little or no exercise in going on 4 months, today Smug Git and I are off to join a gym I will try and work up the courage to actually go and use the gym at least once this week but I will get on my bike and do a little 30 minute walk I think that’s plenty for week 1 I hope you all agree.

Wish me luck! See y’all next week for an update.  

On the Road Again.

Let me tell you about last weeks ride….First let me say that if you thought I had a bit of a moan on the last blog you aint read nothing yet!  Last Saturday I went for my first training ride for this year’s MS150. I know. I can hear y’all asking “What? You’re doing it again so soon?” and the answer should be “Why yes friends I am” but instead I’m thinking stop asking stupid questions of course I’m doing it again why else would I have dragged my sorry fat ass out of bed on a windy, rainy miserable and oh, did I say windy, Saturday morning.  Yes friends I think I’m doing it again!

Ok let’s get started then.  After work on Friday I had choir practice and for those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s code at school for happy hour (so the parents don’t realize the teachers are all alcoholics). I only had 2½ drinks because I knew I was doing a training ride in the morning and because being the athlete that I am (not). I know that for me drinking and riding my bike even if it is the next day doesn’t mix…now if only I would have kept all this in mind when I got home but no I had to go on and have a few drinks more. Not too many but a few more and I did not go to bed early enough so ultimately I woke up feeling like shit and still tired, of course Smug Gut is all happy whistling and getting all the gear together (seriously I could stick a hot poker in his eye. ) You can tell I’m not happy right now right? I look in the mirror and it’s as if I haven’t looked at myself. I look 48, I feel  48 and when did I put all this weight on? So right then and there I decide… No, not to go on another diet, I decide I’m not wearing cycling clothes looking like this. Although I do have to wear the shorts (for the padding) so I pull on the scabbiest t-shirt I can find. I head out to the kitchen and Smug Git just looks at me but says nothing. Oh except “Do you want a banana for breakfast and we can go for lunch after the ride?”

Me:  “A banana! I’ve to cycle 16 miles on a banana?”

SG: “Ok! I’ll just put the bacon on” (hot poker in the other eye)

And off we go with hardly a word spoken between us.  When we get there The Don, our riding buddy from last year, parked right next to us. Smug Git gets out the car and starts unpacking and I just sit there with my face like thunder and I can hear him say to The Don “She’s in a mood, she does not want to be here”

Me: “You do know I can hear you?”

SG and The Don just laugh!

Eventually I get out the car and to my right there is this group of people apparently all using their really loud outside voices.  I don’t care if you were a great cyclist when you were a kid and I don’t care what you got for Christmas and stop laughing I’m in a mood! Can someone, anyone, please tell me why I’m doing this again because right now I have no fucking idea.

The ride starts and as always I hate the start with all those bikes all bunched up together. I feel sick and nervous but I get myself together and we set off. Well ok this is not too bad. I’m going at quite a good pace I look down and I’m riding about 15 or 16 miles an hour I guess they are right when they say it’s just like riding a bike! Pun intended.  Before I know it we are at the rest stop, half way to the ride being over! I do have to say I was very red in the face and a wee bit out of breath because I did think I had set out too fast but we were there and the first part was over and it only took 33 minutes. Ok, ok I can do this, I can do another 33 minutes back to the car. I feel the beginnings of a smile. Smug Git is looking at me I think he’s not sure if it’s a smile or if I’m wincing at him so he very smartly says nothing. Back on the bike and off we go to the end.  And then it happens, we turn onto the road and the wind just hits us, oh where the hell did that come from? It wasn't just a wee bit windy it was blowing a gale! I was wobbling on the bike and I can tell you there was not even the hint of a smile. I was wincing all the way back and I was cycling on the granny gears. The 35 minutes back ended up being 47, I felt like I was cycling up a hill the whole way and everything hurt from my head to my toes. You know when you exercise those endorphins are supposed to kick in and you get that feel good factor? Well my endorphins must have slept in because they were nowhere to be found.  Remember ages ago I asked the question was I crazy doing this again because I knew what was in front of me? Well today I know the answer.  Hell yes I’m crazy and I have to be honest I’m not sure I can do it. This year I think my MS 150 contribution may be in the form of volunteering because this is too hard plus no one has sponsored me yet so I have an easy out.

I will do it because if I don’t then I would have failed myself and if I could do it last year I sure as hell won’t let it beat me this year but I have a feeling my blogs may be taking a different route but I hope you will all have my back with your words of encouragement when I need them and believe me I need them big time.

Thanks for reading see you next week…Iz

Serious Bit….

Please sponsor me I’m in dire need of the motivation. Here is my link

Peace perfect peace

I’m going to have a rant in this blog, now I know it’s probably not politically correct to blog about your children, well unless you’re talking about how wonderful they are or how they are in honor classes or in all Pre-AP or AP classes or are in fact top 10% of their class and god forbid they’d be less than top25%. I think in my neighborhood along with the ban on fireworks and the not allowed to let your cat out on its own if your children were less than top 25% you’d be breaking the deed restrictions and would be lowering the value of the house prices so therefore you would be asked to leave.  Thankfully we’ve kept our dirty little secret safe so far.  But I don’t care. I’ve been at home with my two children (well I say children but they are actually young adults) for two weeks and they are driving me crazy! Is it wrong to look forward to being an empty nester?

I know bringing up children is not easy and I can only speak for boys (and I can’t begin to understand how hard it must be bringing up girls). When you first bring them home it’s all lovely, then the sleepless nights start but every time you look at that wee face everything is ok with the world. Who cares about a few sleepless nights? Then there’s the terrible two’s, those cute little defiant faces telling you no and you have to try your best not to laugh after they’ve changed themselves into nothing but welly boots and a towel pegged round their neck when you’re in a hurry to get out it’s no biggie really, right? So ok fast forward 17 and 19 years later. Nothing is cute. And nothing, and I mean nothing is funny.

Let’s start with my youngest son, the 17 year old. He’s a gamer. If you have one of these you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. If not I’ll describe him for you so you’ll be able to recognize a gamer anywhere.  He’ll be the pasty faced kid with no color because he spends little to no time outside and will have no clue what the big yellow ball in the sky is.  He will have top of the range equipment like gamer boy, who I have to say, has built his own faster than light computer (ok does that count as bragging?) He has this fancy office chair that I’m sure is molded to his body, two monitors and an F-off keyboard and mouse but the pe esta resistance is the noise cancelling head phones. Unfortunately for us they don’t cancel the noise coming from his bed room just me shouting in at the top of my lungs when I need him. Now I could run up the stairs to get him but why would I do that when I can text him and apparently they don’t cancel out the small ping of a text they just cancel out me (funny that).

This past two weeks Gamer Boy has spent his time equally between gaming and sleeping with limited interruptions for eating and the occasional shower. GB plays online with the same kids all the time so I know those parents know what I’m talking about but I have to tell you about this one kid he plays with. His name is “Kyle”, we, being the good parents we are, have no idea what so ever who “Kyle” is only that GB has been playing on line with him for I would say close on 5 years. We have asked questions and of course given GB a hard time by telling him “you have no idea who this kid is, he could be a 40 year old guy with 5 kids” and all GB would say was he’s not and he has a really high voice (ok so that’s reassuring) Kyle does not live in this state so calm down all you good parents out there GB has never met him (because that would require leaving the house and that’s not happening any time soon) but we have a nick name for “Kyle” in our house and wait for it it’s………..Kyle the pedophile! Haha I know it’s not funny but really it is.

Now onto eldest son the 19 year old. Oh where to start! This is the first year Greek Adonis aka Stupid Son went off to college and I have to say it has been wonderful not to have him at home. Quiet, no drama but I do miss him or did miss him but he’s back.  He did come back for a week at Thanksgiving and it was so nice. He was lovely and considerate and easy to talk to. It was kind of like having someone else’s kid at your house so as you can imagine I was really looking forward to him coming home for a whole month at Christmas. Well two weeks in and eh not so much! All I hear is “What’s for breakfast?”, “What’s for lunch?”, “What’s for dinner?”  So then I stupidly offer up a choice

Me “Would you like cereal?”

Boys “No”

Me “Toast?”

Boys “No”

Me “Eggs?”

Boys “no”

And then it’s the same at lunch and dinner arrg!

“So what do you want?” “I don’t know” Ok shoot me now.   

So Greek Adonis has also brought his dog home remember the dog I did not want him to get? Now the dog is very well trained I’ll give him that but the wee shite (GA that is, not the dog) is never home so it’s left to me and Smug Git to look after the bloody dog. Well when I say me and Smug Git I really mean Smug Git. All I’ve done for the dog is throw it the odd carrot here and there (I think that counts as looking after him) it’s more than Greek Adonis has done and then he has the cheek to tell me I’m not looking after him right! WTF! Damn right I’m not, HE’S NOT MY DOG! (Oh big rant there) maybe if he was at home a bit more he could look after his own stupid dog but apparently being home for a month from school is the same as going on vacation! So far he has gone mountain biking, played several rounds of golf, gone out for lunch and dinner, numerous all night parties whilst living in the lap of luxury in an all-inclusive hotel with a laundry and pet sitting facility thrown in for free.  Come on now that’s funny I know I now sound like all your mothers right? Because I know I sound like mine. I never had it that good.

I can honestly say I can’t wait to get them back to school and me back to work and let me tell you something else when Gamer Boy leaves for college we are selling this house and leaving no forwarding address. See how they like that!

Rant over thanks for listening!

Love and Happy New Year to All.  Iz x

Wabbit Season!

I know I have not written a blog in a while and to tell you the truth that was for two reasons. One, I know as soon as I write something I'm seriously going to have to start working on losing weight and I'll have to actually get on the bike again and, two, nothing remotely funny or otherwise has happened to me lately. Well that is until this weekend! So now I'm writing this and I'll have to start the diet and the bike riding but best of all I get to tell you about my weekend.



Smug Git and I were invited to go hunting with our good friends the Howard's. Now I'm not really a hunting kind of girl and have tried several times in the past say 20 odd years being vegetarian but like most of the things I try I failed miserably (seriously who can live without bacon?) but as you know I do love any opportunity to partake in a few alcoholic beverages so I was mad keen to go and live it up out in the country. We pack up Friday after work and head out. As we are leaving Smug Git tells me that he also will not be hunting. Ok really? We are invited on a hunting weekend and none of us are going to do it. So there and then I decide I will do it, I'll shoot the bloody thing! Or at least be there when Mike shoots it. So from here on in Smug Git will now be known as Josephine (the big girls blouse.)

Friday evening we have a really nice dinner but I'm a bag of nerves due, obviously to the fact that I will be killing an animal the next morning so to get us in the mood we watch the deer hunter ha ha ha just kidding we watch a few episodes of duck dynasty. Now I don't know if you've ever watched this wee gem, but it is so funny! I recommend y'all catching an episode and I know you're thinking what does this have to do with deer hunting but it will all become clear later.  When its time for bed Josephine sets the alarm for me at 5:50am on a Saturday morning so I can go hunt, like I need an alarm I'll be awake all night worrying about it.

5:50am and you guessed it I'm awake before the alarm but surprisingly enough I did sleep. Josephine and I get up, I don't know why she's up because she's not going anywhere. I'm the one doing all the dirty work. When we head out it's black as two in the morning and we have to get to the hut (or as us hunters call it the hide). As soon as we get out the door there are wild animals right there in front of us! Three raccoons! For real! Right there! Mike scares them with the torch (now I know you Americans are thinking we have a big stick with a flame on it but no it was a flashlight) and then we have to go in the same direction as the wild animals went! I'm freaking out and I can't see two feet in front of me! Ok I can do this, deep breath. I forgot to say Mike is in full camouflage gear while I'm in a pair of 3/4 length jeans and Skechers. Anyway we get to the hut and climb inside. It's tiny with a wooden bench but I do get a cushion to sit on although with a butt the size of mine it feels like I'm sitting on a Kleenex. We settle in for the kill and Mike loads the gun. A .50 caliber rifle no less. Have you ever sat beside someone with a loaded gun before? Well let me tell you, I was following all the rules, I kept my eyes peeled and my mouth well and truly shut. In fact if truth be told I was scared to move a muscle! I just looked out the window and only talked when I was talked to in a very quiet whisper. Then to my left I spot a doe, a deer, a female deer (ok I know you're laughing at this. I was actually thinking this at the time.) I nudge Mike and I'm kinda proud of myself because I spotted it first but panicking that he will shoot it and I'll have to watch but no we don't shoot doe's only buck's. I did not know that thank god. Two more doe come along and head into our field then something gets their attention and it looks like they are staring right at me then they run off thank god. I feel like my mind melding with the deer worked "Run, flee for your life!" Now if I can keep this up I won't have to kill anything but Mike decides to bring out the big guns the, wait for it......"Buck Commander" from duck dynasty! For real! He bought one from that place in Louisiana. He starts blowing in it to get the bucks to come out but thankfully they don't and I'm so relieved I get to go back and still look tough in front of Josephine with bragging rights intact for a long time or until she grows a pair.  We get back to the house and I'm so full of myself, bragging and laughing and giving Josephine such a hard time then Mike says

 

"So Izzi you want to go out again just before sunset?"

Me "Sure I'd love to" (fuck!)

Me "Hey Smug Git, you want to go?" (I was trying to get on his good side)

SG "No, no worries, you can go"

Me "Cool thanks" (fuck!)

Ok to cut a long story short I went back out, saw lots and lots of doe but once again no buck. My mind melding was still working.

I think Josephine was rather pissed off at me and decided to go out the next morning and what would you know. They did get a buck and Smug Git (Josephine no more) helped with all the dirty work that goes with killing animals. The stuff I don't want to know about when I'm tucking into a nice steak dinner.

What a nice weekend with at last something to write about.

Serious bit

I do want to remind y'all I am riding in the MS150 and if some of you could spare a few dollars to sponsor me it might help me get fired up about training so please give it some thought. Here is my link

 

Thanks for reading. Iz

Moan,Moan,Moan!

As you have gathered since I have not written anything for 3 weeks there’s not a lot going on in my house at the moment. Well there’s a lot of lying on the sofa and stuffing my fat face but besides that not a lot else.  So I've been struggling to think of something to blog about and I know I've spoken to friends who will tell me just write about anything “we’ll read it” and “it’ll be funny” oh and believe me when I tell you there are tons of stuff I’d love to write about but I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings or piss anyone off ranting about politics and anyway this blog was supposed to be about my failures and successes on my journey to better health. Well “how is that working out for you?” I can hear you all say and I‘d quickly answer y’all back as politely as I could and say “Fuck off its not” oh and I’m in one god awful foul mood today! (And the bloody mouse on this computer is not working properly Arrg!)

So why am I in a foul mood today? Well I take it you all remember the lite beer debacle?  The community service (done) alcohol awareness (1/2 done) but I’m not sure if I mentioned the court costs $450 (paid).  So all in all it’s on the way to being done and dusted all in the allotted time. Ok good let’s move on, put it behind us and let’s not drag it up ever again like good mothers do. (Yeah, but not sure I fit into that category so I’ll have to save that little chestnut for later). I know, I know, all you perfect mothers out there rolling your eyes. Stop rolling your eyes or I’m going to have to talk about something else that irritates the hell out of me – “Beg, Barter, Buy and sell” - This is our local community Facebook page that allows only people in our neighborhood  to list whatever shite they see fit to sell. Now don’t get me wrong sometimes there may be the occasional wee gem on there but a lot of the time it’s tat! Really, honestly - A 3 ringed binder for $3, leaf and tree cleaner $2 or how about some fake red apples a snip at $3.  I’m sure one night I saw left over spaghetti bolognaise from an absolutely delicious dinner, yours for $1.50 (no I’m just joking about that, that wasn't on there long I bought it yumm!)But seriously people could you just not ask your friends and give them away or better still donate it to a good cause there are tons of them out there. 

But I guess you’re still wondering why I’m in a bad mood and I haven’t really explained it I've just ranted on for a bit well here goes I don’t know if you remember or if you even know but Stupid son wanted a dog, this was way before litebeergate  and I was not one bit happy about it and tried all my powers of reasoning to talk him out of it. You know the usual, dogs are not just for Christmas blah, blah, blah, the cost, the vets, the where does he go when you’re not there. All the sensible stuff but Stupid arse in his wisdom spoke to his dad Stupid Arse mark 2 and off they duly trotted to the animal shelter to pick up a rescue dog (albeit a very cute dog) but a dog none the less. As you can imagine I was not happy and that day when Stupid Arse and the dug left for school I cried my eyes out. I did not cry when I took him to college and left him there but was sobbing when he went with that bloody dog.  Is school not hard enough without the added problems of a dog? Enough said. Oh and that’s still not the reason I’m in a foul mood. Well the dog has been there for, I would say close on 6 weeks now and Smug Git comes in and tells me that we have to go and withdraw $400 from our bank account for Stupid Arses apartment complex because he has a dug! Wait, What? We have to pay another $400 to the apartment? None of you two idiots thought to check the apartments out before you got the dug! Arrrrg! I really feel like I’m handcuffed to idiots! Where the hell is he going to find $400 dollars from? No! Wait! I take it all back… Does anyone want to buy my favorite Gin glass? Used often but with lots of love $400 obo!

Deep breath.

Rant over… And… Relax

Ok other news. I’m just going to ask the question - What’s wrong with a wee bit of alcohol at breakfast if it’s for medicinal purposes? That’d be ok right? I know, I know - Wrong! Well we found a new homeopathic remedy for my arthritis and it’s 9 gin soaked raisins a day. So basically you put the golden raisins (must be golden) in a bowl and cover them with gin. Leave them till all the gin has soaked in and eat 9 a day not 8 or 10 just 9. I’m not quite sure what will happen if you deviate from the amount but I’m sticking to the rules. So far if truth be told it’s not made a blind bit of difference but I do have a wee chuckle every time I eat them and they taste great. I think they’d be even better on your frosties.  

Sorry about all the moaning this week but check out the serious bit there might be a wee moan in there but read on…

Serious bit

10/11/12 was the first day to sign up to do the MS150 for 2013 and as I've always said last year was a huge achievement for me but I did sign up as a dare and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Now what to do about this year, I know what’s in front of me and how hard it was and how much of a cry baby bitch I was a lot of the time and how I've really not done a lot during the summer months. It was time to make up my mind. Do I go for it again? Or do I just check it off my bucket list as done and go back to the sofa? A huge part of me wants to do that because who likes hard work? And y’all know how hard it was for me and now knowing about the hills, the no alcohol, the early starts, no relaxing weekends (ok I need to stop here I’m totally talking myself out of this) but I’m really happy to say that I have signed up to do the 2013 MS150 from Houston to Austin on April 21 and 22.  So if any of you fancy a wee spin round the neighborhood PM me or call. I need all the help I can get!  Oh and now I should have more to blog about Yeah!

Thanks for reading see y’all next time,  love Iz

Here is my link if you’d like to help me reach my goal of $1000.

Book him Danno, murder one!

Well isn't technology a wonderful thing? I've just discovered how to write my blog while lying on the sofa. Oh the inactivity of it! I can feel the pounds returning as I type with my one finger (well it is hard to write while balancing the iPad on my left boob).

This week was a very interesting week. Before I tell you all about it I'll get the biking and diet bit out of the way, I promise it won't take long since I've done none of it, I've been on the bike twice in the last two weeks and I've eaten everything in my path that doesn't have a pulse. End of the healthy bit (told you it wouldn't take long).

Ok first things first I probably should not be writing this and I'm sure some of you will be horrified and some of you might judge me but hey what's new so here goes. I have to go back a few weeks to start.

A couple of Sunday mornings ago the phone rung at 9:30am and Greek Adonis (from this point on will be known as Stupid Son) tells Smug Git the night before he got caught outside with a beer and got a ticket for a MIP (for my international friends that's a Minor In Possession of alcohol) when I say alcohol it was a lite beer! I mean really if you’re going to be stupid enough to get a MIP could you at least make sure it's with a real beer and not the lite shite.  To be honest I don't know how y'all don't know about this because I'm sure that Sunday morning the whole of Texas could hear me shouting and screaming like a banshee. He then gets a court date of October 6th and I have to get a day off to go up with him because Smug Git is away and here's where it gets funny.

The first thing is he does not own a nice pair of pants or decent pair of dress shoes and I don't really want to spend money on buying him any so I look in his brothers closet and find everything I need however the shoes are a size 11 and SS is only a 9.5 but Smug Git who should now be known as Stupid Arse (ha funny like father like son) thinks he can just wear two pairs of sock and this will be fine.  I head off to Bryan Tx and I hate driving because I don't know where I'm going and we have a new car that I can't work but I have my sat/nav and I'm good to go. I head up the road with my music blaring, singing along and the album I'm listening to ends but I don't or rather can't change it because that would mean taking my hand off the steering wheel and not looking at the road. A no no for me so I have to spend the rest of the journey listening to Christmas music - oh and not just any old Christmas music – It’s Rascal Flats Christmas music! Well we are in Texas after all.

I arrive at SS's in plenty of time for his court appearance and give him the clothes and shoes. He takes one look at the shoes and starts to laugh.

SS "Are you serious? I can't wear those shoes"

Me "They'll be fine, just wear two pairs of socks"

SS "No way! I look like I have clown shoes on"

Me "Don't be so dramatic!"

But they did look like clown shoes and I was trying hard not to laugh but then he started laughing and lifted up his trouser leg to reveal about 2" between his heel and the heel of the shoe. Needless to say he did not wear the shoes.  We head off to court and SS is a bag of nerves. We get to the waiting room and I'm the only mother there. Not only that but I'm the only woman! It's all redneck teenagers with not a pair of pants or shoes between them it's all cowboy boots, shiny buckles and jeans. We then go into court and SS tells me not to say anything and of course having a last name that begins with W means I get to hear what everyone else is there for. It was better than reality TV! Well not quite, it was all bald tires and out of date inspection stickers but what was funny was every kid gave the same excuse.

Redneck kid "Uh I'd just moved here and forgot"

Judge "Is it fixed?"

Redneck "Yes sir"

Judge "Case dismissed!"

Somehow I don't think that'll happen when it's our turn!

Then this other kid goes up and SS tells me that he was drinking with him. However he got a ticket for MIC (Minor In Consumption of alcohol). So wait!! Now it all makes sense to me! SS was not drinking, he was just holding it for someone else (wink, wink). Right?

 

Outcome: SS gets 8 hours community service and has to attend two alcohol awareness programs and 3 month probation. If he completes all that then it will not go on his record (thank god) I asked him later "So what did you learn from this?" Answer:  Don't drink outside!!!!

Arrrg!

Serious bit...

When does it get easier being a parent? 

Look out Bradley Wiggins

I think you all know that I started a new job at the end of the summer and I’m working with 2 year olds.  Now if you would have asked me if I want to work with them say last year but really if you would have asked me ever to work with 2 year olds I would have laughed at you and said never!  You know what they say, never say never and here I am with the toddlers and more to the point, I love it! Some days I just laugh and laugh… Well, if I’m not gagging at the little snot sucker. So the other day in class I had on this blue top that I’ve worn tons of times at work, it’s not a low cut cleavage showing top and it’s not a polo neck. (turtle neck for my American friends) Say somewhere in between. Anyway every time I sat down these two little boys came over and wanted to sit on my lap and would then proceed to drive whatever vehicle they were playing with, be it a Hummer or a truck down my cleavage!  I’m not joking I ended up standing up for most of the day. Bloody children!

On Friday morning I woke up with that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach since I knew that my first bike ride of the season was fast approaching and I had not been out on the road since the MS150 in April. I have however been on the trainer pretty regularly but as I say not on the road. I was crapping myself I was so worried that I had to go for a quick choir practice after work. Just to calm the nerves you understand. That worked for a little while but I knew I couldn’t keep singing so after a couple of songs I thought an early night would be the best thing to do. 

Saturday morning and we were up bright and early and I was even more nervous. So much so I could hardly eat my breakfast (joking – I can always eat!) and that I think is where all my problems start.  I begin to doubt myself; Can I get out of the clips? Will I be able to ride 27 miles? What if I hate riding or what if it’s like those first few rides when I nearly kill myself? I’m so worried that I’m actually thinking about not going. You know when you really, really don’t want to do something (me, it’s usually flying) so you start to hope you get sick or worse one of the kids get sick (I know I’m a terrible mother)  then you have the perfect reason to not do it and everyone will understand? Well that’s the stage I’m at on Saturday morning but me being me I don’t like fear to beat me,  it was a very good cause and I did have sponsors,  so get a grip woman and get it done.

We get to the ride and the weather is so nice there are lots of people there or as Robert would say a saddle of saddos. Oh and some radio personalities although I’m not quite sure how you recognize someone from the radio, I was all kitted out and ready – well as ready as I’ll ever be – and, as always, just to add to the excitement (nerves) you have to wait till it’s your group to go, now I’m just bitching and moaning, I want to get going and I’m sure at this point Smug Git is wishing he could drive a truck right over me never mind down my cleavage! Then hooray they call our group and we set off, well let me tell you it was awesome. I loved every single minute of it, I’m actually excited as I write this! I don’t know what I was worried about it was like riding a bike (ok I’m sorry I could not resist that one) I felt like I was flying along those roads. We stopped at the first rest stop and I was enjoying it so much we rode right past the last rest stop. To be fair the ride was in Katy Texas which is as flat as a pancake but it felt so good to be back outside on my lovely shiny new bike (not so shiny now). Y’all know I’m not into stats but SG has just brought my stats for yesterday (along with a beer what a man) so I thought I would share them.  I rode an average of 12.7 mph and a maximum of 20.8 mph It took us 2 hours and 20 minutes and I cycled 29.46 miles I’m so excited I feel great about those stats and I can’t wait to get back out next Saturday.

Today I decided to go bike barn our local bike shop to spend a voucher I had and while I was there I got talking to the very serious bike guy remember last year he told me he did not think I was talking bike riding serious enough? Well wait till  tell you what he said to me today.

Serious guy “So how many miles are you riding at the weekends now”

Me “Did 29 yesterday” I have to say I think this is how Smug Git must feel all the time!

Serious guy “Wow! That's not too bad”

I have a big smug cheesy grin on my face anyway you know what it’s like when you have money you can never find anything you want and I needed to spend my voucher today so SG ended up with some new peddles, we are standing at the cash register and oh my god! I’m so excited, serious guy comes over and says to me (wait for it)…..”So I think you should ride with us on a Saturday morning at 7:15am”. Wait! Did he just ask me out on a date? Ha, ha, ha better that that I, me, yes I’m going to say it again he told me I could ride with bike barn! Ha, I’m so excited I could scream.  Does that make me a cyclist? Why yes I think it does! Will I go? Hmm maybe yes but not just yet. I’m not sure I’m ready for that right now but I will go soon (I promise).  

My plan for the week ahead is to get back on the bike in the mornings and perhaps venture out round the neighborhood and next weekend out somewhere for a long bike ride can’t wait.

Serious bit….

I’m not looking for money. (Not yet)

Thanks for reading see y’all next week.  Iz x