Sunday, June 17, 2012

Can't see the Willie for the Cheese

Good morning all! Sunday morning and what can I say. I feel like I’ve gone back in time - BC (before cycling) when I wake on a Sunday morning a wee bit worse for wear because of the weekend (or week) I’ve just had. And I have to say great weekend and funny week but never the less, food and drink wise not good.

Well if you remember last week I had fallen off the wagon or rather jumped off.  At the beginning of this week I could see the wagon in the distance with one lone cowboy hobbling along and I knew a couple more days of good eating - and I was in fact back on the bike so 10 more miles on that bike and I would have caught up with that damn cowboy. But then Wednesday book club night happened and to make it worse Helena – You remember Helena? - She biked with me remember? She’s the one that got the flat tire and I left her because I didn’t want her to finish before me - That Helena. Well anyway, she was the host and she always makes fabulous food (no three bean salad in sight) the wine is always flowing and a dessert (tres leches cake) to die for.  So now can you see what I’m up against? That wagon is just rolling round the bend out of sight…

Anyway we all arrive at book club and are chatting away - Oh wait, I forgot to tell you the book we were reading, it will not come as a surprise to you - We read 50 Shades of Gray. Well it was decided early on that what happens at book club stays at book club and nothing would be put on Facebook (oh god I so want to call it The Facebook, that’s what my mother calls it “The Facebook” Argh! It annoys the crap out of me but now I want to say it all the time because it’s so funny.  More about my mother another time). However I don’t think any of the girlies said not to put it in my blog! I don’t think… Don’t worry ladies I’ll change your names to protect the innocent - right Helena? OMG but now they will all be so mad at me and I may not have a book club to go back to in August.  So I really had been very good on my diet up to this point and had rode 10 miles on the bike that day so I went along thinking “Well I can just eat a little bit”. Mistake number one, got there and had a couple glassed of some fruity little fizzy drink and it was all downhill from there. I had spotted the cheese table, my definite downfall, I take a look around the table and there is dried fruits and nuts, four or five different kinds of cheeses, olives, 3 different salami’s and a huge selection of crackers.  Well I’ve just died and gone to appetizer heaven oh where to start I think I’ll just start at one end and eat my way around the table and that’s exactly what I do! Delish! The other ladies head to the table in an orderly fashion with me taking up the rear (Ok minds out the gutter) for a second helping. I could not help myself it was sooo good.

While I’m at the cheese table for the second time,

 Helena is asking me “so Izzi what do you think of the table?”

Me, with a mouthful of cheese “it’s delicious, you have gone to a lot of bother”

Helena “Ok. Glad you like it”

So I look at her and she is laughing and I’m thinking cheeky bitch have I eaten too much? have I dropped something on my top? She looks at me, then looks at the table - and then I notice it….It’s a 6 inch glass sculpture of a Willie (Penis for my Americans friends) So I start to laugh so hard and I say to Helena “I’m so sorry, I could not see the ‘Willie for the cheese’!” And then we both are just howling with laughter.  The rest of the evening went along the same lines. So, so funny.

I would love to tell y’all about how the rest of book club went but as I said what happens in book club stays in book club. I will say they are all a great bunch of girls and there was much discussion and hilarity and lots more wine and food consumed and for me I would say a wee bit too much of everything  but then what would my blogs be like if I just wrote every week about how good I’d been and how much weight I’d lost (although the occasional pound of here or there would be nice) Dull.  Do I ever see myself fitting into those size 10 jeans? I do if I could only stop eating and drinking oh and I’ve just remembered it’s father’s day so more eating and drinking today but luckily Smug Git is not my father so I don’t need to do anything for him so an nice easy day for me!   Oh come on I’m joking I let him make a nice dinner and I might make a dessert there see I’m nice right?

Happy Father’s Day to all you great dads out there and for the shite dads get off your asses and take the kids out.
Thanks for reading, see y’all next week.  Iz 

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