Sunday, August 12, 2012

Dumb Ass Dog!

Anyway you know how last week I was all gung-ho about I’m starting my diet right now - at precisely 12:07 pm Sunday August 5th 2012! Well if I told you that it did not quite go as planned would you all be surprised? Well I think I know enough of you who read this blog or even enough women and men who diet to know it would not really surprise you in the least.  What is it about dieting that’s so bloody hard? Sunday I’m super focused, I do brilliant then Monday comes along and again I’m going for it big time, counting my points, getting on the bike, I’m totally on a “I can do this” high then Tuesday rolls around and I’m out with my friend and diet cohort Amanda. We are going to have lunch together because this is my last day off for the summer before I go back to work, to give Amanda her dues she want to make us a lovely low fat lunch and my face is like thunder because before I meet her I know I want some Chinese food. So I talk her into it, well if truth be told I didn’t really need to talk her into anything, she was as game as I was. So it was off to the Chinese for us. Mistake number one.  You know what it’s like when you eat Chinese food you’re stuffed at the time but two hours later you’re starving again and you have to force yourself to stay away from the cookie jar (well I do) but happy to say I managed to stay on something that resembled a half decent eating plan.

At this point of writing - bear in mind I’m writing this on Saturday - my food escapades all seem a bit of a blur but I’m pretty sure I did in fact stick to my diet on Wednesday… I think. So I’m going to rush straight to Thursday. That was the day I started my new job, it was an in-service day with a fabulous lunch provided at one of my favorite local restaurants The Red Fish Grill. It wasn’t too bad, I had a nice salad (seriously I did!) then a couple of pieces of sushi, that’s not too bad right? Then some fish, vegetables and rice however it was followed by a lovely slice of carrot cake and before you say anything there’s carrots in it so it’s almost a vegetable! Now lunch on its own would not be too bad but, and here is the big but (literally big butt), in the evening I had to go shopping for Greek Adonis’ birthday presents, Smug Git and I went out to eat after we shopped. I really want to tell y’all that I had another salad but I had two beers, buffalo chicken and fries. What can I say - I’m on a diet? Who can resist fries when they’re on a diet? Please don’t judge me! I went to bed (after a couple of G&Ts) with the crazy notion that I would definitely start again tomorrow. Oh wait… its Greek Adonis’ birthday tomorrow. Shit! Maybe I should just start on Sunday again. I know I could try and start on Saturday but seriously that’s the day I get to eat!

Well as luck would have it on Friday, GA’s birthday, I woke feeling that even though we would all be going out to eat dinner that evening I would really try not to pig out, I have a very low fat breakfast of my delish egg white omelet and I packed a very healthy salad lunch now here is where the luck come in.  Normally I don’t consider my allergies a good thing but on Friday I had them big time don’t really know what was causing them but I could not breath through my nose at all (I know it’s gross) which leads to me not being able to taste or eat anything because thankfully if I have to choose between eating and breathing, believe it or not breathing wins every time. I still had it bad in the evening when we went out for dinner and once again I could not eat, Yeah for allergies!

Ok now I’m thinking I could patent a new diet aid - nose plugs! I bet there would be some idiots out there willing to buy a set….But wait message me in the next 5 minutes and you could receive an extra set absolutely free!

Y’all know I wrote everything before this paragraph on Saturday morning yeah? Well right now its 12:34am, I think its Sunday (tad few adult beverages) let me tell you what has happened in the last few hours. We had some friends over and SG made burgers and they were so good but this is all beside the point because after eating said burger I had a tiny bit stuck in my teeth I'm try to be very discrete and pick the burger out my tooth, as I’m doing that one of my veneers that I paid a fortune for pops off and I hear it fall on the floor, quick as a whip my stupid dumb ass dog gets to it before me and eats the damn veneer, what makes this worse and not funny at all is on Monday we have meet the teacher at my new job and I look like a bloody redneck (why does this only happen to me ?) What the hell am I going to do? I’m thinking this might at least help me on my diet as the tiny piece of tooth that remains is killing me and I can’t bite on anything to make things worse I also had to drink my wine with a straw! The next couple of days may have to be a liquid diet - and this time I don’t mean alcohol - though that would be funny me turning up on Monday with a massive hangover and a front missing tooth introducing myself to the parents in my class. I might not have a job on Tuesday!

Next week is back to work so I’m thinking that getting myself back into a routine will get me back on the straight and narrow.  Check back next week and see how it’s going.
Thanks for reading…..Iz  

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