S'not Funny!

It’s been two weeks since my last blog and I’m rapidly coming to the conclusion that no-one wants to read about my always failing diets. Although this week was a very good week and I did lose 3 lbs but I’m not quite sure how that happened. Maybe it’s just that I’ve started my new job and the kids have lunch at about 11:30am and that’s way too early for me so I’ve just been having fruit. But I have been on my bike every day so I guess all that together has resulted in a little weight off…  Or - perhaps it was what happened at school on Friday morning that put me off food for the rest of the day! Let me explain… 

The children come into class at 9:00am and this one little girl comes in and sits down at a table. As I turn round to talk to her she sneezes and two big lines of green snot shoot right out from her nose! Now working with children you get used to snot but what I will never ever, ever get used to is when she sucked the snot right into her mouth (believe me when I tell you I’m now gagging into my hands) well as soon as she did this I immediately start gagging and the two girls I work with are at first concerned that I’m ok (because they didn’t see what had just happened) and every time I tried to explain I would just gag and wretch and I could feel that watery feeling you get in your mouth when you are going to vomit. Anyway after I eventually explain all the girls could do was laugh. So needless to say I did not have much of an appetite for the rest of the day and I definitely needed to go for a wee drink after work. Or as the girls at my new job call it - I went to “Choir Practice” (double Choir Practice for me). 

And worst of all I’m not done! Smug Git had been out of town all week and had not heard the snot drama so when I saw him on Saturday morning I started to tell him all about it but unfortunately for me (and him) my allergies were really bad and so while I was telling the story I needed to blow my nose. This had me re-living the whole thing and I ended up actually throwing up all over the bathroom! I’m not kidding even writing this makes me nauseous! I really don’t want to ever think about it again but may need to store it away somewhere safe just in case I need to reuse it for future diet purposes. (Not)

I’m really not doing well at all. I’m having such a tough time with it at the moment I’m hoping that with the kids going back to school tomorrow and everyone getting back into some sort of routine that it will start to fall into place over the next few weeks. Having said that I went shopping today - food shopping and if you know me at all, I hate any kind of shopping but I was at the cash desk and I was perusing the magazines and we all know the magazines are shite and nothing in them is true hence the reason I never buy them. But today one caught my eye, it was Shape with a fabulous photo of that Gillian chick that was on the biggest loser (never watch that show - totally unrealistic) anyway it said, or I thought it said, drop a dress size in 21 days. I’ve just looked at it as I’m writing this and it actually says drop a jeans size in 21 days I so would not have bought it if I say Jeans (don’t ask me why I don’t know I just wouldn’t have) but I did. But OMG! I’m not doing all those exercises for 21 days. No-one would, it was like 10 different exercises; hopscotch, squats, x lunge (whatever the hell that is) and monkey push-ups (again no idea) to make matters worse I’ve just looked at it again and it’s bloody skinny jeans! No one over the age of 30 should be seen dead in skinny jeans (just my humble opinion) and it would take more than one dress or jean size for me because I’m not sure skinny jeans come in sizes 14 (I wish!) or above. It looks like it’s back to the diet drawing board for me, and into the trash can for Shape $5.99 magazine. Unless any of my younger friends want to get into some skinny jeans, the mag is up for grabs….

Serious bit (welcome back)

On the cycling news I’m riding in three weeks September 22^nd in the Tour de Cure. The Tour de Cure Houston is one of many fundraising rides to benefit the American Diabetes Association.

In 2011, more than 55,000 cyclists in 80 events raised more than $18 million to support the mission of the American Diabetes Association: to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by diabetes.

I had intended to fund this one myself so I was not going to ask for money but I thought, why not. If anyone would like to donate any money then please feel free it would be much appreciated (I only need to raise $150).

Here is the link if you wish to donate :  Izzi Weatherly

Or if you want to join the ride or find out more then click here

Dumb Ass Dog!

Anyway you know how last week I was all gung-ho about I’m starting my diet right now - at precisely 12:07 pm Sunday August 5^th 2012! Well if I told you that it did not quite go as planned would you all be surprised? Well I think I know enough of you who read this blog or even enough women and men who diet to know it would not really surprise you in the least.  What is it about dieting that’s so bloody hard? Sunday I’m super focused, I do brilliant then Monday comes along and again I’m going for it big time, counting my points, getting on the bike, I’m totally on a “I can do this” high then Tuesday rolls around and I’m out with my friend and diet cohort Amanda. We are going to have lunch together because this is my last day off for the summer before I go back to work, to give Amanda her dues she want to make us a lovely low fat lunch and my face is like thunder because before I meet her I know I want some Chinese food. So I talk her into it, well if truth be told I didn’t really need to talk her into anything, she was as game as I was. So it was off to the Chinese for us. Mistake number one.  You know what it’s like when you eat Chinese food you’re stuffed at the time but two hours later you’re starving again and you have to force yourself to stay away from the cookie jar (well I do) but happy to say I managed to stay on something that resembled a half decent eating plan.

At this point of writing - bear in mind I’m writing this on Saturday - my food escapades all seem a bit of a blur but I’m pretty sure I did in fact stick to my diet on Wednesday… I think. So I’m going to rush straight to Thursday. That was the day I started my new job, it was an in-service day with a fabulous lunch provided at one of my favorite local restaurants The Red Fish Grill. It wasn’t too bad, I had a nice salad (seriously I did!) then a couple of pieces of sushi, that’s not too bad right? Then some fish, vegetables and rice however it was followed by a lovely slice of carrot cake and before you say anything there’s carrots in it so it’s almost a vegetable! Now lunch on its own would not be too bad but, and here is the big but (literally big butt), in the evening I had to go shopping for Greek Adonis’ birthday presents, Smug Git and I went out to eat after we shopped. I really want to tell y’all that I had another salad but I had two beers, buffalo chicken and fries. What can I say - I’m on a diet? Who can resist fries when they’re on a diet? Please don’t judge me! I went to bed (after a couple of G&Ts) with the crazy notion that I would definitely start again tomorrow. Oh wait… its Greek Adonis’ birthday tomorrow. Shit! Maybe I should just start on Sunday again. I know I could try and start on Saturday but seriously that’s the day I get to eat!

Well as luck would have it on Friday, GA’s birthday, I woke feeling that even though we would all be going out to eat dinner that evening I would really try not to pig out, I have a very low fat breakfast of my delish egg white omelet and I packed a very healthy salad lunch now here is where the luck come in.  Normally I don’t consider my allergies a good thing but on Friday I had them big time don’t really know what was causing them but I could not breath through my nose at all (I know it’s gross) which leads to me not being able to taste or eat anything because thankfully if I have to choose between eating and breathing, believe it or not breathing wins every time. I still had it bad in the evening when we went out for dinner and once again I could not eat, Yeah for allergies!

Ok now I’m thinking I could patent a new diet aid - nose plugs! I bet there would be some idiots out there willing to buy a set….But wait message me in the next 5 minutes and you could receive an extra set absolutely free!

Y’all know I wrote everything before this paragraph on Saturday morning yeah? Well right now its 12:34am, I think its Sunday (tad few adult beverages) let me tell you what has happened in the last few hours. We had some friends over and SG made burgers and they were so good but this is all beside the point because after eating said burger I had a tiny bit stuck in my teeth I'm try to be very discrete and pick the burger out my tooth, as I’m doing that one of my veneers that I paid a fortune for pops off and I hear it fall on the floor, quick as a whip my stupid dumb ass dog gets to it before me and eats the damn veneer, what makes this worse and not funny at all is on Monday we have meet the teacher at my new job and I look like a bloody redneck (why does this only happen to me ?) What the hell am I going to do? I’m thinking this might at least help me on my diet as the tiny piece of tooth that remains is killing me and I can’t bite on anything to make things worse I also had to drink my wine with a straw! The next couple of days may have to be a liquid diet - and this time I don’t mean alcohol - though that would be funny me turning up on Monday with a massive hangover and a front missing tooth introducing myself to the parents in my class. I might not have a job on Tuesday!

Next week is back to work so I’m thinking that getting myself back into a routine will get me back on the straight and narrow.  Check back next week and see how it’s going.

Thanks for reading…..Iz  

When Yes means No and No means Maybe

This week on Thursday I went to see the orthopedic doctor so that he could go over the results of my MRI and as it said in the message I got before hand he confirmed I did have some arthritis in my hip but at the moment other than anti-inflammatories and to lose weight there was really nothing else he could do. And then he went on to say that he thought I would need a hip replacement sometime in the next 5 or 10 years! But y’all would have been proud of me I didn’t cry, I think I was in shock. He did tell me that I could still bike and if I lost more weight that it would help with the pain. Now for the good news - I can’t run (oh thank god for that I bloody hate running.)

I know it all seems a bit doom and gloom but it’s not… Well besides the fact that I’m still fat, still in pain and I’ve put on about 10 pounds over the summer holidays but I see a new challenge in my future. If I can’t do the half marathon, and I know I can’t, I’m going to challenge myself to losing the next fifty pounds to get me to my target by next Aprils MS150 that means my blog will go from learning to ride a bike to learning how to lose all of this weigh and keeping it off. I think that in itself for me is a huge challenge.  Now I would like to tell you I’ll start tomorrow but then I’d just go and pig out for the rest of the day and that would just get me 2 more pounds to take off so I’m going to start right now - at 12:07 pm Sunday August 5^th 2012 (there I’ve said it). Actually now is a good time since I’ve had a humungous breakfast a mere 2 hours ago which consisted of 2 slices of bacon (turkey much to the annoyance of the Greek Adonis), 1 fried egg, and 1½ potato scones (a Scottish delicacy) - all that on a bread roll topped off with a dollop of ketchup. Oh god when I write it all down like that I’m a real pig. I really shouldn’t need to eat for about a week never mind a couple of hours and when I think about it I’ve eaten like this for the last five week no wonder I’ve put about 10 pounds on. So from now on you will just have to listen to me moan and grump about losing weight. I promise I’ll try to keep it funny and I think I’ll add some recipes because I don’t know how funny I’ll be when I’m starving.

All I can think about now is what I’m going to have for dinner tonight.  Why is it when you say you’re on a diet all you think about is food? Do you think those Olympians are always on diets? I saw that commercial where they are all talking about how they got to their Olympic dreams.

“I have not eaten a dessert in over a year”

“That book everyone is talking about - I’ve not read it”

There you go that’s why I’m fat I’ve read the books and ate the desserts!

No, but seriously, what am I going to have for dinner tonight?

I’m off out now to take my mind off food. I’ll add a wee update when I get back and let you know how my first half day back on the diet has worked and I’ll let y’all know what I had for dinner.

Ok then that went better than expected I kept myself busy and did not eat anything till dinner and what did I have I hear you all say well I had a small steak, potatoes and broccoli mmm nice!  But what was hard was talking myself out of drinking anything with it.

Smug Git “you want anything to drink with dinner?”

Me “No” (that was very definite)

Me “well… maybe some wine”

Me “…. No”

Me “Oh what the hell I’ll have a beer” but I did only have one beer so that’s ok…..Right?

My plans for this week is workout every morning and follow my points plan…….Wish me luck! 

Thanks for reading I’m going to go back to writing every week because y’all keep me motivated and I have someone to answer to.

See y’all next week.  Iz