Well hello and Merry Christmas! I’m so glad you managed to step away from all the chocolates, cookies, mince pies and Champagne for ten minutes but don’t worry I won’t keep you long. Today is the day I’m going to eat and drink whatever I like so I also don’t want to be away from the goodies too long. I’ve a feeling this day may not end too well I can already feel a wee virus coming on and it’s not even noon yet! Maybe later I’ll do a wee drunk blog. How funny would that be? Second thought maybe not!!!
Y’all know “a wee virus” is code in our house for a hangover right?
So last week was a bit of a tough week I was still working till Tuesday. I know, I know some people don’t get any holidays. I should be grateful I have a job but I’m knackered and I need a break! I finally get Monday and Tuesday out the way - Woo hoo! I’m on holiday but have shit loads to do plus I’m not actually sure how I’m going to cope with weight watchers when I’m at home all day because you know what it’s like all that yummy food everywhere and there’s that box of wine in the fridge that’s whispering at me every time I open the door “hello I’m here - just have a wee glass, I’m really chilled and delish… oh go on one glass will not kill you” ok I’m not looking in the fridge again. Well at least for 15 minutes I don’t know why I keep looking in the fridge anyway I’m like a moth to the flame. I just keep opening the door and looking in at all the good stuff and drooling I think it may be some form of self-torture. Please kill me now! If I don’t stop its 18 pounds here I come.
I have to keep myself busy, I know I’ll go out and finish my Christmas shopping. I don’t know if you know this about me but I hate shopping - I mean really hate it. I can do two shops then I’m done. If I push it - and I mean really push it I can do three, then I go all crazy bitch in a bad, bad mood and the only thing that gets me out the mood is food and wine. So I’ve decided before I go I’m just going to two shops. Smug Git has some shopping to do but it’s for my pressy so he’s going off on his own. I really only need to go to Barns and Noble but before I leave the house I realize I need some peppermint essence because I have a mountain of baking to do when I get back (of course I do! What else would someone on a diet need to do - duh?) So that’s William’s and Sonoma. Two shops. Easy. $250 later in Williams and Sonoma that’s the most expensive peppermint essence I’ve ever bought only to go home and find I already have some in the cupboard. Who found the one in the cupboard? Smug Git. Yes, I know I can hear y’all shouting his name at me and I know I was supposed to be Christmas shopping for other people but I hate shopping and that made it bearable and I have some lovely new dishes! Merry Christmas to me!!!
Back home and it’s not even lunch time yet on the first day of my holiday and another wee look in the fridge for something to eat for lunch. Wine is still there only this time whispering just a tad louder damn you wine I’m not giving in yet!
Did I tell you that SG bought me a trainer? I don’t think I did. Well for those of you who have no idea what that is let me explain it’s not a handsome buff guy to help me lose weight and get fit, no, no, no my luck is not that good. A trainer is a piece of equipment you use on your bike in the house (well my one is in front of the telly) to make your bike stationary so you can peddle your ass off whilst watching telly, awesome right? SG keeps trying to get me to go on it but I think I’d rather stick hot pokers in my eyes but I do know I’m going to have to use it at some point so I come up with what I think is the perfect idea. Tell me if I’m wrong. I’m going to bake my cookies and whenever a batch goes in the oven I’m going to get on the bike, come on that makes perfect sense yeah, no? Well no. The first batch only needs to cook for 6 to 8 minutes by the time I get on the bike it’s time to get off. Ok new plan I’ll start the bike thing tomorrow first thing 20 minutes. That’ll work I’m sure.
Good news, good news! Part way through my baking Lesley comes over, yay! Someone to taste test my cookies because that’s how good I’ve been – I’ve not even tasted one and they’re chocolate chip and mint my two favorite flavors together. But first things first...
Me “you want a cup of coffee?”
Lesley “no! I was thinking you’d offer me wine”
Me (with just a hint of excitement in my voice)” Wine, wine - I can do wine”
I go to the fridge throw open the door “hello my good friend the wine box” then pour two lovely glasses of nicely chilled wine yum! Well it is Christmas and you can’t let your best friend drink on her own it’d just be bad manners. Lucky for me just as I finish backing for the day another good friend Jan popped in and I get to have another wee glass of wine with her. I’m thinking that I really need to count the points for all this wine but I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
Thursday morning I get up really early in the morning and have a go on the trainer, now I really do wish it was a handsome buff guy! Twenty minutes seems like forever but I get it done and it’s back to the cookie making and no, no one came to visit and I had no wine. God I hate days like that I did however have a wee gin or two when I was delivering my cookies to all my friends so the day was not a complete loss. Later in the evening I went to the movies to see New Year’s Eve. Yeah don’t waste your money, let me just say just because there are a million stars in a movie does not make it a good movie AND I was sitting with all these boo hoo teary eyed women… Oh wait they were my friends!!
Ok on Friday morning I had to go shopping again! The first two shops were fine, not too busy, but then wait for it that dreaded third shop. I had to go grocery shopping and that was when all hell broke loose and I had a big argument with another irate shopper who was obviously bothered by my casual browsing (I had no idea Armageddon was coming on Sunday and groceries were a top priority). I was apparently holding up the other crazy shoppers and she felt the need to hurry me along! I think that may have back fired on her a bit when I chased her down the soup isle shouting at her that “excuse me usually works when you need someone to move and that she was rude and bad mannered” this was all very amusing to the other shoppers on the soup isle. I get the feeling she does not like shopping either! I know it’s only 10:30am but I could really go a wee glass of something - well it is Christmas - but Smug Git won’t let me because I have to go on the trainer first - arrg!
Weight Watchers! I know you are all hanging on my every word right? Yeah right! But I do know y’all want to know if cow face was there and… she was! Of course she was there the week I don’t lose any weight. I didn’t put any on so I’ll take that thank you very much. The class was empty with just the hard core fatties there. You should have seen her face when I walked through the door and her buddy wasn’t there so she had no back up (I did actually feel a tad bad for her) so as always I was my very sweet nice charming self. Actually when I look back on these blogs sometimes I’m not very nice but in my defense only when I’m provoked! Anyway I digress (oh that’s a big word) She was super sweet to me I was sweet to her a wee bit of a love fest going on here oh and I almost forgot the best news EVER I got a bravo sticker! I know, why did I get a bravo sticker? I’m not quite sure I answered a question about exercise but I think she would have given me a sticker just for turning up if she could.
So all in all not a too bad week did a fair amount of exercise and put on no weight now just one more week and I can put this bloody holiday season behind me and get back to the business of losing weight Yeah!!
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Healthy and Prosperous New Year!