Sunday, January 15, 2012

If your not fast your last!

Right it’s Friday night and I’m writing this. I know you’re all shocked but not half as shocked as I am!

Tomorrow I go on my first actual training ride for newbie riders. Smug Git tells me he has to mentor me and 3 other newbie’s

Me “What the hell does mentor mean (I have a rough idea and let me tell you it does not sit well with me)

SG “Well you know? Tell you what to do” (There you go he said it)

Me, as I snort “You mean irritate the hell out of me?”

SG “Pretty much”

Me “We better pretend we don’t know each other or I’ll kill you”

Oh SG is going to have a great time coz it’s the only time he’s going to be able to tell me what to do. Me - Not so much. Oh and the other thing about Friday nights from now until the ride (14 Fridays to be exact) I can’t have a drink, so it’s not so much 14 Friday nights till the ride it’s more like 15 till I can have a gin and tonic. But don’t despair (the despair bit’s for me) I can still drink gin on Saturday’s at least for the time being.

Saturday morning is here and I have to admit I’m a tad nervous and it’s literally freezing out. 0⁰C- for all you Scot’s and European’s (32⁰ in real money) but the sun is shining and I’m hoping it will warm up because I don’t do cold anymore. We get there and I start looking around and I’m thinking shit I’m the fattest person here but we must have been early because before long there were lots. There must have been a carpool of fatties. Thank god I was not alone (but don’t tell any of them I said that).

Before the ride starts we get a talk about road rules and bike etiquette. I’ll fill you in as I go along every week about the rules and believe me there are lots. The ride starts and I’m thinking “Really? We’re going to ride this slow, this is a breeze”

So there’s a big saddle of Saddo’s (love it Robert) riding in a line and there’s this English guy behind me who is obviously a “mentor” (wanker) shouting out instructions. I mean, does he not know I have my own mentor and I’ve already warned him he’s not the boss of me! Anyway he’s shouting things like “car up, car back” (just some of the rules) then he starts with “we’re slowing, we’re slowing, we’re slowing and stop”. Really if I told you we were at a stop sign would you be surprised? Ok I have to get away from him so I kick it up a notch (peddled faster) and thankfully he took his mentoring very seriously and stayed with his group.

By this point we’re riding at a nice pace and the weather is warming up nicely, the scenery is beautiful and I’m loving this. Oh and I’m not last, I’m somewhere in the middle and keeping up with my group.

Anyway we are about half way through the ride about a mile from the rest stop and Hellena, one of my friends who’s riding with us this morning, shouts “Hey Izzzi I have a puncture”

I’m thinking “Oh poor you that sucks but I’m not waiting with you. I’m in the middle of the saddo’s. You can be last but I’m riding on”, but then I think better of it and stop. SG comes back and fixes the tire so at least I learn how to fix a flat.

I’m there watching all these riders pass me by and my middle of the pack status is slipping away fast. SG is just finishing and I know we’re at the back then I look down the road and I see this group just coming up to us! Oh my god we’re not last! I’m not kidding, I jump on the bike and I’m shouting at SG and Hellena “I’ll see you at the rest stop” and I speed, ha ha - well peddle as fast as I can, so that the last wee group can’t catch me. They are dead last, come on they’ll never catch me!

So I left them all and made it to the rest stop before the last group and my friend and husband. I’m such a good wife and friend! And not the slightest bit competitive. I know it’s not a race but in my mind it is.

The second half of the ride went without any drama thankfully. 16 miles done but of course I promised y’all I’d ride 30 so me, SG and Steve (The Don) went out for another 9 miles. I know that doesn’t add up to 30 but I’ll go out tomorrow and make up the rest.

Looking forward to the rest of the weekend as I said ride in the morning and can you believe it Gary Kubiak would not change the Texan’s schedule to accommodate my training and drinking habit so the game is still on tomorrow (Go Texan’s) however MLK did help by arranging the next day off for me so roll on the margarita's and the holiday Monday.

I’m glad to say that I met all my goals last week, got on the bike every morning, stuck to my weight loss plan and by the end of the weekend I’ll have rode 30 miles (or a wee bit more) I did not get to weight watcher but I know on my own scales I've lost I think another 2lbs I will go on Thursday evening and let you know exactly how much. I’m thinking my goals for this coming week will probably be much the same as last week but adding a few more miles on the bike.

Serious bit.

It’s only 14 weeks till I ride the MS150 and I’m really looking forward to it. I can’t actually believe I’m saying that. A huge thank you to all who have sponsored me so far and to all of you who read my blog every week. Without y’all I could not do this, your sponsor money and words of encouragement every week mean everything to me.

Thanks so, so much!


  1. WOW - You did awesome this week. I see the words "loving it" and "looking forward to it" creeping in a lot ..... and that's the best bit. Well apart from the funny stuff !!! I think you should mentor the "dead last" saddle of saddos ....... I am sure you are a "saddle of saddos godess" to them now !

  2. Thanks Sharon I'm surprising myself by looking forward to the next ride so here's to next week. Thanks for the comments keep them coming.