Sunday, February 12, 2012

I love children but I couldn't eat a whole one!

Ok so it’s Friday night and there’s a birthday party going on with all the girlies from work to which I have been invited but I had to refuse because unlike last weekend the weather tomorrow is to be fine for bike riding. So I’m sitting here, not bitter at all, writing this stupid blog while all the lovey ladies from work will now be well on their way to being pissed (again not jealous and bitter) Ok well a tad jealous and bitter.

Anyway as you will all remember last week there was horrible weather on Saturday morning so I could not ride. This meant I got to go out on the Friday evening and have a few, well maybe more than a few drinks - oh what fun! I waken up on Saturday morning with the worst sore throat ever! And I have a baby shower to go to in the afternoon but I’m thinking to myself maybe I’ve been sleeping with my mouth open and I’m guessing snoring like a bear (due to the alcohol consumption you understand) my throat will be fine nothing a few glasses of wine won’t help and true enough when I got to the shower that fizzy wine took all the pain away. Told Ya!

At the shower all the girls are telling me how good I look and that you can see the weight coming off and I’m just full of it. I’m having a great time…..

Fast forward to today – Friday. It’s raining again and I have to go work with the three year olds at break time because it’s indoor play and just as I’m getting ready to leave the class this little cherub (or pain in the ass as I like to call him) says “ Why are you wheelie, wheelie fat?”

Me: “What did you just say?” Oh I heard him, I was just making sure.

Pain in the ass: “Why are you wheelie wheelie fat?”

I’m gutted. I walk over to him and I say “Why are you short?” “Do you know I’ve lost 26lbs?”

And do you know what he does? He just walks away and plays with the Lego! And me I’m left standing there gob smacked. My plan is to knock him over and stand on his fingers. However I didn’t get the chance to do it today but I’ve got a long memory and I know where to find him - I’m just biding my time.

Well I guess that’s what I get for being full of shite! But that brings me to a good point. I don’t know about any of you but I think I’m the opposite of anorexic. You know how anorexic people look in the mirror and see a fat person well I’m apparently “wheelie, wheelie fat” and when I look in the mirror I don’t see a fat person. I think this is why I find it hard to lose weight but no worries now for the next few weeks I’ll have that wee voice in my head every time I look in the mirror. “Why are you wheelie wheelie fat?”

Enough of that I’m sure that’s not what you are all tuning in for I’m sure you’re all hanging on the edge of your iphones to hear how my 45 mile ride went on Saturday.

Saturday morning was freezing cold - I mean 38⁰ cold - see your breath cold, but when we arrived at the camp site there was plenty of hot coffee, breakfast burritos and muffins yum! (The only day in the week I don’t feel guilty about eating) the ride was worth it just for that. This week’s ride was a charity ride so there was somewhere in the region of 2000 riders. It really was a site to be seen. We headed out for the start line about 9:00am and while I’m waiting to set off this ride marshal comes over to me and tells me my helmet is not on right so I ask him what’s wrong with it and he says “It’s too far back on your head and the straps are too loose”

Me “Can you fix it for me?”

Ride marshal “No”

Me ”What? Why not?”

RM “I don’t want to take my hands out my gloves”

Me ”Seriously? Is that not why you’re here?”

RM “Yeah but it’s too cold”

Me “Well if I fall off my bike and smash my scull it’s your fault”

RM laughs “Ok” and walks off

Some people just don’t take their responsibility seriously enough. So I got SG to do it coz I didn’t want to take my gloves off.

After waiting for about 20 minutes it was our turn to head off. I had a great pace to start and my goal was not to drop below 9mph even in the wind. And it was windy! The winds were 12 to 15mph gusts but for some reason I didn’t find it that bad and I only dropped to 8mph for a wee bit. My average pace yesterday was 12mph woo-hoo I had a great ride. Smug Git on the other hand really struggled yesterday poor thing but in his defense (which I don’t like doing often) he woke up with a sore throat this morning.

When we got back to the camp site there were burgers (not as I said on Facebook burglars) that under normal circumstances would have been minging ( translation for my American friends) disgusting but tasted awesome I guess if you put enough cheese, onion, pickles, ketchup and mustard on something it will taste great m..m..good. And and when I got back to the car SG had put beers in the cooler. Have I ever told y’all how wonderful my husband is?

All in all a very successful ride!

Serious bit…

Yesterday I had to sign a waiver and while I was reading it I discovered that cycling is indeed a dangerous sport. Apparently I have a responsibility for any injury or accident. I’m assuming only to me.

I have to certify that I am physically fit. Well no I’m not.

I certify that I am sufficiently experienced to ride a bike. Seriously are they having a laugh?

And understand that the risks of a lengthy bicycle ride include, but are not limited to, head injuries, fractures, dehydration, heat exhaustion, heat stroke, heart attack, and other possible minor or major injuries.

Ok nobody told me any of this I’m beginning to think this whole thing was a bad Idea. If I wasn’t loving this bike riding nonsense (and please don’t tell SG I said that) I’d give it all up tomorrow.

Real serious bit now…

I’d like to give a huge shout out to the following people who with their donations have got me bike riding and LOVING every minute of it while riding for a truly wonderful cause:

Michelle Patterson
Beth Read
Kelly Shoaff
Lesley McQuade
Denielle Pooley
Anna Pittman
Pat Toombs
Sharon McCrae
Nicola McKay
Michael Connellan
Beverly Hyden
Dawn Thomson
Amanda Hutchinson
Sandra Hannigan
Rosey Parsons
Sinead Lamb

Thanks again to you and your families for your support it means so so much to me.

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