It’s Saturday at 4:00 I’ve just got in from riding my bike only 15 miles today because of the weather and I’ve just scoffed down two homemade spicy Italian sausage rolls OMG! They were delicious and now I have an ice cold beer. Could things get any better than this? Oh I just remembered I had to take an anti-inflammatory since I have a groin strain so I’m thinking I’d better not have a bath before I go out tonight!
I know, I know - you’re all thinking I’m horrible and I’ll go straight to hell but never mind I’ll be in good company.
Ok enough of that nonsense, what has gone on this week? I’ve been off on holiday for half term at school and the plans I had for the week were lots of bike riding, reading, a few chores round the house. Just all in all a relaxing week. What did I do this week? Well none of the above, I mostly just ate whatever I fancied in large amounts and drank copious amounts of alcohol. I don’t think there was a day that I stuck to my weight watchers or a day that I did not drink some alcoholic beverage, Oh wait! Thursday - I was good on Thursday.
A few other things happened this week. On Monday I had to go to the opticians and after a thorough eye examination she told me I had brain damage. Now I know y’all are thinking she did not tell you that but she did. ok let me explain and then you decide. Just so you know I don’t have good vision in my right eye, so she dilates the eye has a look and says she thinks there may have been some damage to the optic nerve between the eye and the brain.
Me “Are you saying I have brain damage?”
Doc “Well it’s kinda like that” (you don’t really want to hear the whole explanation)
Me “Thanks doc that explains a lot” She just laughs.
There you go brain damage but it makes perfect sense because really you need to be a little brain damaged to do this ride. Right?
But wait till I tell you what we did after we left the opticians, you’ll not believe this we joined a bike riding club. I know me a member of a bike riding club! It’s called northwest cyclists I’m so excited I’m in a club. I’m not sure northwest cyclists know what they have let themselves in for but I can’t wait to join them especially after the MS150.
Tuesday Valentine’s day possibly the best day of the year, if of course you’re in a relationship not so much if your not. I’m sure y’all got wonderfully romantic gifts from your loved ones. If I asked you to guess what I got you’d never in a million years guess. But in order for y’all to understand the sheer magnitude of what I got I’ll have to do a little back story I’m sure I have y’all intrigued now so you’re going to read on.
When I’ve completed a ride, especially long rides my friends and family always ask me, how is your butt? I always have the same answer my butt is fine it does not hurt at all however and here is where it gets a bit embarrassing (please don’t let your children read this) my va-jay-jay hurts like hell. I’ve tried everything to help, I don’t really want to tell you exactly what I’ve done it might put you off your dinner but needless to say I’ve tried a few things. Back to Valentine’s Day Smug Git buys me Hoo Ha Ride Glide apparently formulated by woman for woman. Seriously that’s what I got! Oh and it comes in a handy dandy handbag size, and I have lots of it so if any of my girls out there are having any embarrassing problems with their hoo ha’s SG has it covered, literally!
What makes this even funnier is later that evening I texted my friend Amanda and told her what SG had got me but unbeknown to me she was driving and asked her 15 year old son to read out the text to her. "forgot to tell you what my man got me for valentine's Hoo Ha Ride Glide for the...eh!" and then his face went bright red "you'll have to read the rest" poor boy. So now I have to apoligize so sorry but don't worry I wont mention your name.
The rest of the week went ok I did go out with some of the girl for a birthday lunch and as always I was the only lush drinking dirty martini’s at 12 noon but hey I’m on holiday and they were delish but to be fair I’d just found out that the ride on Saturday was cancelled due to the storms so bottoms up!
As I said earlier I got 15 miles in on Saturday and I’m planning on going out this afternoon again just round the neighborhood but it is a lovely day so it should be a nice ride.
I apologize if this blog does not have much in it this week about riding but I’m afraid I’ve reverted back to the old Izzi eating and drinking anything I can get my hands on. You know something, diet and exercise was not this hard over the Thanksgiving and Christmas period and I know it’s harder to get back in control so here is my promise to y’all as from this moment I’m back on plan I’ll track my points, weigh in next Thursday (no matter how bad it might be) and back on the bike every morning and for good measure I’ll throw in a couple of afternoon bike rides. Then next week I’ll let y’all know how it goes.
Thanks for reading every week and I’ll see y’all next week!