Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Liquid Diet

Well its blog 33 and I don’t really have a lot to blog about given that my leg injury is stopping me from doing any exercise and the MS150 is but a distant memory that on an occasion can still bring a wee smile to a sad lonely woman’s face. Oh bloody hell shut up and get on with it… Oh sorry right then. What to write until normal training services resume?

I will tell you about some of the stuff that has happened this week. I think I should start way back at last Friday morning so I go to weight watchers and weigh in and right before my eyes I look at the scales and what do I see - 199.00 lbs.! Hooray I’m no longer a 200 pound woman. I’m hi fiving people and smiling like a Cheshire cat. I’m happy, happy ,happy . I even call Smug Git up and shout down the phone ”Your wife is no longer a 200 lbs. woman!” Ok so I got a bit carried away after all I am only 199 still hang in there with me just give me my moment please because believe me a moment was all I had. After Weight Watchers  I then met the girls for lunch and after that it all goes downhill. However at the restaurant I was very good and righteous, giving out little tit bits of diet advice (oh look at me talking shite again). We eventually left the restaurant and I went back to Amanda’s for a few drinks.  4 hours later and 1 or 4 or 5 drinks later I have the munchies and I feel a binge coming on. I start with some Lays BBQ chips but very quickly they are grabbed away from me and some baby carrot are out in their place. What the hell just happened but you know what I don’t care. I’ll eat those carrots as long as I’m crunching something till dinner is ready I’m good.  And what pray tell was for dinner? What culinary delight had the lovely Amanda slaved over all day? Fish and chips! Oh I know, you are now all a little jealous aren’t you?   Well I wouldn’t be too jealous as it turns out it was more like fish and carbon as she burnt the chips. But I was so hungry I just put them between two slices of bread and smothered them in ketchup and viola saved the dinner yum! But after that I had eaten so much I had to go home and lie down.  When I got up the next morning my stomach still hurt I’m sure it was all the carrots I ate. I’m never eating them again.

Saturday morning I’ve decided not to weigh myself as I’m no longer a 200 pound woman so I don’t need to do that anymore (more like if I do weigh myself I’ll be more than a 200 pounder) so we are not going there.  I decide I’m going to have a good day and stick to my points. I have a very healthy 5 point breakfast and pat myself on the back.  Later in the morning I have to go run some errands and since I’m sticking to my points I think I should eat some lunch at home before we go out and save us from temptation - Amen.  It’s all working out perfectly till we go to wine styles and they offer us a taste of wine. Well you know it’s just plain rude to say no, so we enjoy the wine and decide that maybe we should just have one more glass but as luck would have it (bad luck)the computer system in the shop went down and the guy for some weird reason could not pull himself away from the computer to sell us wine so we left. Smug Git took one look at my face with its big petted lip on and suggested we go to Brix another nice wine bar close by, petted lip off, smile on, happy Izzi.  But wait disaster happened! We get to Brix and it’s bloody shut! What the hell kind of wine bar shuts on a Saturday afternoon? Is this a Texas law I don’t know about? Smug Git to the rescue though he rapidly grabs my hand walks me over to a vacant table in the tapas bar next door and gets me a drinks menu then proceeds to order me one dirty martini. What a nice man. The food menu was on the table so I thought I would have a wee look. What? I’m just looking I’m not ordering anything I’ve just had my healthy lunch oh but the menu looks good and tapas is just small portions what harm could it do if we just has a wee sample plate of cheese? I think that would be ok, I’ll count it in later. The waiter comes over and I’ll have another martini and a cheese plate and the shrimp in garlic and olive oil. Ok ok I know what you’re all thinking but olive oil is healthy. Well the food was delish! Ate every bit of it and then went off to the movies. Never really got any of the errands done but there’s always tomorrow! Later that evening what would you know I’m feeling a tad peckish again so what do we eat?  Burgers and chips followed by lashings of ice cream and chocolate. Day 2 of diet gone to hell. Oh god and I forgot tomorrow is mother’s day.

Mother’s day went off without a hitch. No sons to be seen all day and no messing up with the diet. The rest of the week went ok but I ended it with a weight gain although I’m not quite sure how much because I’ve not mustered up the courage to weigh myself so in my mind I’m still 199 pounds maybe I’ll just stay that weight forever.

Next week I’ll tell you all about my blind date!

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